“How are you doing?” Your first period after your miscarriage or D&C.
This blog post is something I didn’t think I would be writing, because who talks about “aunt flo”? I know to others this title may sound a bit silly, and may be a dismissive topic or even taboo.
Because what is the big deal about getting your period after you’ve had a miscarriage? It’s a sign that your body is working and doing what it is suppose to be, right?
Yes, all of that is true and good, but for the person who is going through it, the person who lost their baby through miscarriage just a few week ago, it may feel different then just your “average” monthly visit.
This first period is a reminder of what you have lost.
I have been dreading this period, waiting to see when “it” would finally arrive? How many more weeks would it take before my body would go back to “normal”.
And then it finally it happened, my first period after this miscarriage, it so cruelly happened EXACTLY a month after my d&c. So not only was I reminded of the day my baby and I were surgically separated from each other, but now I am reminded doubly that my little one is gone and my life is biologically returning to normalcy.
With my first period came a flood of emotions that I was not expecting nor was I prepared for.
Friends and family.
Sometimes people may say insensitive things to you unknowingly. I mentioned to a friend that I had just gotten my first period after my miscarriage and she joyfully exclaimed, “Oh, that’s really good!”
Although, I know she was well-intentioned with that comment, heck, maybe she didn’t exactly know how to respond to my blunt statement of my biological functions. But it still hurt.
“No, I didn’t want my period to be back, I am suppose to being having my 20-week anatomy scan right now, I am suppose to be joyfully awaiting the gender of our child and putting together a beautiful nursery.
All I wanted was my baby. Getting my period is just a cruel reminder of what I don’t have anymore.”—I thought to myself.
I tried to separate my wild emotions to my logical/rational way of thinking, (Thanks to my always rational and even-tempered husband) but sometimes that is hard.
“Yeah.”— was all I replied as I sulked back into my feelings and returned to my bedroom. I suppose that is good, but the better response would be, “Oh, How are you feeling?”
Because right now I’m feeling a multitude of emotions and would love to express them, but most people are too afraid to go there with us. Too afraid to ask us how we are feeling, or not saying anything at all. I am not hiding behind my miscarriage, its part of me, its part of my journey, its something I’m dealing with in the open and something I want to talk to others about.
If you are dealing with similar emotions, I hope you find solace and hope for your future. That you continue to look upon the Father and trust His will for your life. This is not the end, and although we may not understand why these things happen to us I pray the you find hope and peace on this journey you are on.
Maybe your friends and family doesn’t get why your “first” period after a miscarriage is so difficult emotionally, but I do.
The first period after your miscarriage can bring an array of emotions, please be gentle on yourself and take it one day at a time.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.– Jeremiah 29:11