20 things to do after you have a miscarriage AND ways to honor your baby.
It has been a few months since I had my second miscarriage and I haven’t written anything on my blog since then. I have a bunch of things I’ve been wanting to write, but have been taking it one day at a time. This is a list I have thoughtfully piled together after having gone through 2 miscarriages.
- Avoid negative people! The last thing you need to deal with is negative people in this fragile season you are in. They will suck up all the energy around you, Focus on you.
2. TURN OFF all your baby apps!
If you’re like me I bet as soon as you found out you were pregnant you downloaded the pregnancy app so you could learn about all the neat stuff going on in your body. -Me too. I love that stuff during pregnancy, not so much after a miscarriage.
I know some women who will choose to keep the app running. BUT, for me its torture and if it is too much for you, delete the app altogether or turn it off.
3. UNSUBSCRIBE from email newsletters stating the progress, growth, and changes between you and your baby. You will start getting weekly newsletters about your baby’s growth rate, the new developments happening, Don’t forget to check your email and unsubscribe from pregnancy/’baby update’ newsletters.
4. If you are very artistic you could write a poem to your baby.
5. Write a letter to your baby. How you felt when you found out you were pregnant. The hopes and dreams you had, the hopes and dreams that you still carry when you meet with your baby in the everlasting.
6. Cancel baby registries, if you started a baby registry you may also want to cancel that before the store starts sending you “Congratulations, your baby has arrived!” formula coupons and samples in the mail. Seriously, it’s pretty awful.
7. Talk to someone- it could be a trusted friend, family member, or a therapist. Find someone you can express your emotions unabridged to.
8. Support- find a miscarriage support group you can join. Facebook has a ton of them. I find that I can go there and feel understood and validated by other loss mamas.
9. Write a song
10. Name your baby, even if you didn’t know the sex of your baby.
11. Name a star after your baby
12. Plant a tree in memory.
13. Plant a flower garden or any other type of garden in memory of your baby.
14. Keep a journal
15. Light a lantern on their due date.
19. Take all the time you need to grieve. Remember this may look different from person to person. There are 7 stages of grief and you could technically be at any stage when you find out about your loss.
20. Honor your baby- although your child’s life was short-lived, your baby was important and fiercely loved. Honor your child, honor the life you created. plant a tree, plant some flowers, create a piece of art, live your life full of hope, live your life without fear of the future,
But, above all else I hope you find peace even in your roughest storm.
What are some things you have done after your loss? What are some ways you have or plan to honor your baby’s life? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.